The Horse's Whisper

The following is an account written by Timm Tripp of his experience on the day that Ben passed away. I wanted to include it here on my blog so I'll always have a copy of it and to be able to share these special words with all of you as well. Thank you Timm for preserving this experience so beautifully for me since I wasn't able to be there to experience it firsthand myself.

The Horse's Whisper

The moon was almost full last night. The light penetrated the tall Hemlock and Cedar trees surrounding the corral. If you looked out into the corral you could see patches of light illuminating the dusty ground. The day had been warm, but the marine air cooled the night. It was calm and quiet; a gentle breeze swayed the high branches on the trees. The horses quietly wandered between the patches of moonlight.

When I came upon Ben, Tom and Tyler had already been trying to get him on his feet. Ben was lying on his side, his nostrils had blood in them, his breathing was irregular and very labored. His mouth was open, his upper lip was pulled back exposing his teeth. He was hot and sweaty. Tyler stroked his neck and spoke words of encouragement, while Tom massaged his back and sides, pleading with Ben to be well.

Ben's legs had cuts on them. He made several attempts to get up, but he was too weak and could not get his back legs to move.

I stared into Ben's eye... it was bright and shiny, like a big polished black marble. His eye glistened and sparkled, there was an intense light emanating from deep inside the dark orb. Some say that the eye is the window to the soul. If that is true, I looked deep into Ben's soul and he into mine. For a brief moment I felt connected to Ben as he seemed to open up to accepting his fate. He stopped struggling and seemed to relax. He became still and his nostrils no longer pulsed with labored breathing. I could no longer detect any breath of air. His pulse slowed way down until we could not feel it at all. The spark of light in his eye dimmed and the polished surface dulled somewhat , like fog on glass. Suddenly a giant tear drop fell from his eye, flowing down along his nose and to the dusty ground, where is formed a small puddle.

The tear appeared to flow a the same time as his last breath gently left him, there was a sense of release at the moment Ben's spirit moved from his physical body to the unrestrained realm of space. Ben bared his soul to me...a stranger... the dignity, the courage, the loyalty, the beauty, the strength, the magnificence of this incredible being was released back into the world with his last tear and final breath. I did not feel Ben leaving...I felt him releasing his spirit... allowing it to flow out into the world, no longer bound by his physical nature... rather released to merge into light, life.

Ben's spirit soars through the tree tops joining the sun and moon and stars illuminating the day and night. Even his tear touched the earth, to nourish a seed that begins a new life cycle.

Thank you Ben for all that you have given us: Strength, courage, compassion, patience, love and light. Where ever we go when you feel a gentle breeze on your face, it just may be Ben whispering...

Good-Bye Ben!

I'm still in shock over this and every time I think about it or look at this photo I start crying all over again. My horse Ben died unexpectedly of colic on Sunday and I'm not really ready yet to post all the details of that day yet. But when I do I have a lots of memories and things he's taught me in the past two years that I'd like to share. He meant a lot to me and I am going to miss him so much!

Exercises and Training Methods with Jamie

Since I've started taking bi-weekly riding lessons with Jamie, Ben has really shown a lot of improvement. I've been busy with work and the kids to post a review after each ride, but I thought I'd better write down a list of what we've been working on so I don't forget. We really seem to be making progress with him and I'm really excited and happy about the direction we are headed in. He's finally gaining trust and relaxing under saddle. Like Jamie has said in some of our lessons lately, "Now you've got a dressage horse underneath you!" We've had some amazing moments and here are some of the exercises and training methods we've used to help him along his way.

-Spiraling in on the right rein in counter shoulder in / shoulder out.

-3 loop serpentines and keeping a slight shoulder out on the right rein (counter-bend).

-Imaging a bees nest on the left side of the arena when on the right rein to keep his left shoulder from wanting to be sucked into the wall.

-Once I can feel that his left shoulder underneath him and he's not leaning on it or pressing against it, then I can slowly ask him to go straight and maybe very slightly bent to the inside but only if he doesn't start to fall out again. Constantly check for this and if he can't travel straight on a circle then counter bend him again until he relaxes and gives. When asking for the counter bend, post on the opposite diagonal so he will be more balanced and less interference by my weight throwing him off. Keep my body in line with his, traveling in the direction I want him to go around the circle so he can follow my lead and my weight.

-Changing to a circle on the left rein asking for a little extra flexion.

-Cantering and letting him have room to move in front of me.

-Allowing him to stretch forward and down.

-After establishing a steady tempo without tension ask him to slowly come up in front of me, engage his hind end, sit tall and raise the center of gravity, feel the push and power coming forward and out in front of me.

-After a good stretch slowly gather him on the right rein and apply the right leg to collect him little by little so as not to upset what I have gained through the relaxation during the stretch.

-During warm-up ask for the trot. If there is any signs of tension or unwillingness to go forward then immediately ask for the canter. Sit a little more forward in the saddle than usual, relax with the reins and give him a place to go towards. Do not restrict his forward momentum. After he's going forward nicely make a downward transition to the trot and try to maintain that same energy.

New Pasture Fence Complete!!!

Thanks to my dad for all the hard work and long hours he put into the new pasture fence, it is now complete. This couldn't have been done with out the help of my niece Kylie, nephew Nathan and of course my dad's best helper James. Thanks guys for all that you did to help out from staining boards, digging holes, pouring and mixing cement, hammering nails and leveling board. It looks fabulous and Ben and Jena couldn't be happier with their new fence!!

Along the driveway.

Looking down to the woodshed.

Ben striking a pose expressing his thanks.

Their open area to roam.

Leading up to the barn.

And the barn closer up.

Looking Ahead & What To Do Next

Wow, I can't believe it's been over month since I last posted anything about riding. I guess it goes to show you how I've been feeling lately. May was seriously a hard month for me being newly pregnant and all. I'm now 10 weeks along and the nausea is dissipating, but my energy level is still pretty low. I honestly think that if it wasn't for my horse and the guilt that I feel for him not being ridden at least 3 times a week, that I'd probably not be riding at all. But I have to say on the days that I do go over to the island to ride I immediately feel better and get a little energy surge. Maybe it's just having a change of scenery and fresh air to breathe, but whatever the case for now it seems to be doing wonders for me.

My goal is to at least be able to ride through the summer and then hopefully starting in September I will be able to find someone to lease and ride Ben for me starting in the fall through next spring. Ideally I'd be able to find someone that can devote a lot of time to riding Ben so that he'd be able to continue to live at my parent's house. That way I wouldn't have to worry about Jena being alone or trying to find her a new companion. I would also like to charge someone at least $250/month to lease him. That would help me to pay for his feed, shoes and make sure that the rider was in some sort of consistent lesson program.

However, I know that walking a mile and a half to Barnabee and taking an extra hour out of your schedule isn't every one's cup of tea. So my next option would be to find someone from the area that would like to lease and board him at Barnabee. Instead of making money off the lease I would just require that they pay for the full boarding costs which is $425/month. In exchange I would still have to pay for Ben's shoes, supplements and vet bills. But that would give them the accessibility of having a covered arena through the rainy months and save them time in riding.

Jamie has mentioned that she'd help to spread the word about Ben and help me find a suitable rider for him, so hopefully it all works out. I'd really hate for all of the work that we are doing with him to get him to be more relaxed and engaged isn't wasted by the next rider not being "with the program" so to speak. By keeping him at Barnabee, Jamie would still be able to oversee his training or even teach the new rider lessons on Ben. So I'm praying that we'll be able to find a suitable match for him and that the time I have off from riding will be productive for him.

I'd just hate to see him sit around in the pasture for 6+ months. I just know he'd be super bored and then when the time comes to start riding him again he'd be a huge handful. He's not even fun if he gets more than 3 days off in a row, so I don't even want to imagine that scenario!!

Putting up the Posts

My dad, nephew Nathan and niece Kylie were all hard at work today putting up the new fence posts along the driveway. I can't wait to see the finished product! It's going to be so cool to have a wooden fence after having the old wire one for the past 20 years. Wow, I can't believe it's been that long since I bought my first horse! Thanks guys for all your hard work!

Training with Jamie

This week Jamie has continued to ride and train Ben for me. It's been really nice to just sit and watch them work together and learn from the ground her quiet and patient ways. Some of the things she's been working on have been riding effectively through the corners and giving with the reins. When riding through the corners she lifts her inside hand and taps Ben's inside hind each time she would rise in the trot. This encourages Ben to reach under himself more with his hind leg and in turn lift his back and give with his neck. It all allows him to relax more and work in a proper frame.

She has also been riding with her hands much higher than you would normally ride with but in Ben's case you have to give with you reins and over compensate for his fear of you pulling on the bit too much. By saying to him, "I'm not going to pull on you," hopefully he'll quit pulling against the rider, relax and come round on his own.

Like Gerd Hueschmann taught in his clinic, Jamie insists, "Don't even think or worry about the horse's head." It's not yours for taking and forcing it "on the bit." Rather, when the hind end is working properly and the horse is using it's back correctly, the head will come on it's own. The key to remember: Encourage natural movement from behind and don't force the horse's head down with your hands. It's a bad habit, but one I'm thankful that Jamie is helping me to break.

Jamie Takes the Reins

My chiropractor told me today, that I should take another week off to ensure that I'm totally healed from my fall, so I decided to talk to my friend Jamie about riding Ben for me. She's been Ulla's assistant at Barnabee for the last 10 years and has know her for the past 30. She's seen me ride Ben before in lessons with Ulla and also in the Heuschmann clinic, so she has had time to think about what type of training would work well for him. With all of her experience riding and training horses, I had no problem handing over the reins to her.

Since Ben has only been ridden twice since he hurt himself on March 13th, Jamie decided to take things slow. She first lounged him and worked with him on a circle to the right, since that's his more relaxed side. He did pretty well and only got hyper a couple times but she was able to easily keep control and keep him thinking. She worked on lots of transitions between walk and trot and then trot and canter. She also kept him at the walk on the lounge line along the track and worked on keeping him in front of her aides and trying to get him to relax and give. After trying to switch to the left on the lounge, Ben got really goofy, so Jamie decided to work on some rein exercises instead. She lead him around the track, giving and taking with the inside rein. She'd then ask him to stop by putting her foot in front of his hoof. It really got him to pay attention to her and he seemed to catch on quickly.

After these exercises she rode him for a little bit at the walk. She worked on trying to relax him on the bit while also engaging from behind. Since Ben's has had a history of riders trying to force him on the bit, he was gained a distrust for his riders. I'm sure I haven' helped the situation much, since my hands can get pretty heavy at times too. So Jamie's plan with Ben is to not even move up to the trot or ask anything more complicated until he can give properly at the walk. I don't know how long this will take, but hopefully in the next week of her helping me to ride him that we start to see some progress.

No, this is not Ben and Jamie. Nor is it even close to what they looked like today. But someday I hope to learn the art of Long Reining and develop this sort of control with a horse. It's absolutely stunning!